#168 – Eating Garbage

I try to keep a generally healthy lifestyle. I don’t overindulge in fast food or ice cream or cakes. Sure, I’ve been known to have my Sour Patch Kid fixes, gone for days from my job and apartment only to be discovered in frazzled haze, dusted with sour sugar flakes behind the Walgreen’s on Washington Street… but that’s another story for another day.

The point of all this is to say that, while I do like to make certain efforts to keep healthy, I can’t pretend that I don’t indulge in eating some stuff that can’t be classified as anything other than garbage. Sure, it’s not actual trash but it might as well be. You know, going in, that it’s not a great idea, but you can’t resist.

And that, in fact, is the funniest part. Only the actual eating of said horseshit makes you feel good. No one feels good on line at Popeye’s, or when they’re throwing away that little paper box, grease having made it’s mark on the sides. It’s only while consumption is occurring, not for a minute more or less. That ought to say something, no?

But, shit… those moments when you are ripping apart a tender, wolfing down a mini-burger, slurping down a soda… not much better than those.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: The exact moment you finish, and you know you’re probably going to need cous cous or some salad-type shit for the next three meals just to put yourself back in balance.

#207 – Going to the Movies (Alone)

Don’t fear it. Seriously, trust me… Just try it once, if you haven’t already, and you’ll never want to go back with another human.

Think of the benefits… You don’t have to talk to anyone, you don’t have to explain any of the plot to anyone, it costs half as much (no more dates to the movies, enough already), you can go to whatever showing of whatever movie you like at whatever theater is most convenient to YOU… There’s really no downside.

It’s not like a sporting event or a meal, things that generally work better in the company of others. The whole idea of the movie, the reason you’re in that huge, dark room is to drown out anything other than that enormous screen in front of you.

So, next time the urge hits you to see a movie… Don’t ask anyone if they are free. Don’t text anyone. Don’t make any calls. Just find the next time you are free and where the movie is playing most conveniently for you. Set that time aside, go to the movie, and enjoy.

You are welcome

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: Man, there’s so many. How about being forced to see some nonsense your significant other wants to see, but you’d never watch if it was LITERALLY the only thing on TV during an immobilizing storm. Or, being at the movies and being surrounded by people (namely, women in this case) who can’t stop asking the people with them to help explain every twist and turn as if the person(s) with them had received an advanced copy of the script.