Before we get started here, a quick personal aside… This is fucking bananas that I actually finished this list. I started nearly five years ago and didn’t actually anticipate I’d ever complete it. I’m not sure I learned anything or gained any real knowledge/experience of value over that time—aside, of course, from the obvious lesson that organization is beneficial. I didn’t start a master list of the feelings for about two years, so if things appeared to be showing up haphazardly… that’s why. Anyway, I hope that if you’ve read any of these, you’ve at least chuckled to yourself once. If not, read them again. There has to be something in here. Hell, there’s two-hundred and fucking fifty of them.
I don’t typically enjoy all the things about weddings that most people love.
It seems like, and I could be wrong here, most people enjoy–in no specific order–the dancing, the ceremony, the witnessing of two people in love, the pomp and circumstance.
I really don’t care about any of those things.
In my experience, when my friends get married it’s one of the rare times when we’re all together. Somehow, despite growing up in New Jersey, going to a college that sends primarily from the tri-State and living in one of the more populated spots around New York City that isn’t New York City… almost none of my super-close friends are in this area.
I could bitch and moan about this all post long if I wanted to, but not only do you not give a shit—you’ve likely heard me do it in person.
So, with all that in mind, you can understand how important it is to me to see these people. Of course, it isn’t lost on me that if we all lived as close as I’d prefer, this feeling would substantially lose its value and perhaps even fall off the list entirely.
But, they don’t live close and I haven’t moved on with my life like they have so it’s still got a hell of a lot of value (Literally, every single one of them is married and many of them have… what’s the word for when you have to change your lifestyle, sleeping habits, spending habits and saving habits without ever knowing if you’re doing the right thing for very little gratitude over 20-40 years? Oh yeah, kids. A bunch of them have kids.)
Anyway, back to weddings… it really can be any event where you’re all together, but it seems like weddings are the only times nowadays where you can get everyone in the mix. Funerals are obviously sad, reunions never seem to get the whole gang back and bachelor/ette parties inevitably leave people out. Weddings are where it’s at if you want to see everyone.
And inevitably, at these weddings, there are distractions. Sometimes it comes in the fact that I’m a best man or a groomsmen and have actual responsibilities. Other times it comes in the form of people “wanting to dance” or “enjoying the company of their significant other” or “listening to the speeches” or not needing to “double fist every single time I go to the bar.”
Regardless, when the smoke settles and the dust clears and the lower-case j’s are dotted and x’s crossed, it’s just you and your best friends, likely at one or two large tables, staring directly down the barrel of a full day together at an all-you-can-drink and nearly all-you-can-eat affair.
Note: This feeling isn’t specifically about drinking with friends. It’s aided by drinking, in many cases, but those who don’t drink at all experience this feelings just the same.
There will be consequences in the morning and perhaps later that evening, but for now you’re just starting to round into form. If you’re lucky, it’s nice outside and if you’ve truly got a horseshoe up your ass the whole event is outside in this incredible weather.
It doesn’t hit you fully until maybe drink two or three: you’re not even buzzed yet but you’re on your way and you know it. You all know it and that’s part of the reason it’s so fucking great.
You and your friends have no where to be, nothing to do other than spend time with one another and have fun. There’s no class to wake up for, no work to take care of, no kids (more often than not) to care for… the only thing that’s incumbent upon you is to stay up as long as you possibly can to soak it all in.
Think about that for a second… As you get older, how often does that scenario truly come up? Sure, we all have fun shit we do during the week or on weekends. But how often do you have nothing else to worry about but fun with the people you enjoy being around the most?
I’ll end with this: I was once a groomsman for a good friend and I’d brought a girl to the wedding as a date. For other reasons that aren’t nearly as relevant to this feeling nor as humorous to talk about, I wasn’t inside for much of the wedding. Instead, I spent it outside, on the deck, drinking and talking with whichever of my friends happened to pass by. At one point, my date came out and joined in on the fun. She’d eventually finish her drink and ask if I wanted to meet her on the dance floor. I said no, not because I didn’t want to dance with her (I didn’t, but that wasn’t why I said no) but because I wanted to keep hanging out with my friends.
I tell that mini story to point out a few things:
- how deranged I am
- how poor my social skills can be
- how much I value my high school and college friends, many times, to the detriment of nearly every other relationship in my life
I’ve definitely gone overboard with how extreme I feel about this sort of shit, no denying it. But, there’s also no denying how great it feels to be two or three drinks in with your best friends in the world, knowing you’ve only got time on your side.
Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: I’m honestly not sure… having no friends? Having your friends not invite you to anything but not tell you that you’re no longer part of the group? Hating your friends? I honestly don’t know.