So Wait, The World Didn’t End?

If you’re reading this, the world didn’t end. Either that or you’re a Mayan (wouldn’t that be something if they’d been around this whole time, hiding out somewhere in Mexico or South America only to come back on this exact date?)

Either way, I for one am disappointed.

I know that is terrible to say and that I sound like that ditzy girl from the beginning of Independence Day that can’t wait to meet the aliens (Really? You’re going to dance on top of a building and just hope that they buzz you in? Come on…), but I think I’ve done about all I can. Sad, but true.

Look at it this way… if you had told the 13-year old version of me that by age 26 I’d write a book, have sex with more than one girl, graduate from college and have a full-time job, I’d never have believed you. Maybe I set the bar too low, but I must say I think it’s been a serious win thus far.

Throw in the facts that I live in a pretty nice apartment, I can wipe my own ass, and I have witnessed each of my favorite sports teams winning a championship, and I think I’ve done alright.

Now of course, you could point out all the things I haven’t done and make my life (or, yours for that matter) look like shit. But let’s focus on the positive, shall we?

A few other end of the world notes:

  1. As I walked to my car on Friday morning, I had one thought: “The world may not be ending, but this is some straight apocalypse-type weather right now.”  The wind and rain combo was crazy and yet people still felt the need to force the umbrella issue. I stopped counting after five the number of people whose umbrella was either totally inverted, doing nothing to stop rain in a particular direction, or ripped to shreds.
  2. I can’t be the only one who was hoping that, if in fact the world did end, there would be some sort of incredible sign. Like say, it literally starts raining cats and dogs (imagine that, shar peis coming down in droves from the heavens). Or, hockey became watchable. Things like that.
  3. This was what I wanted to happen if it did end.

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