#247 – A Brand New Toothbrush

Those of you following this closely will inevitably ask… Why is this feeling not either part of #249 or simply one below at #248? Is he fucking with us? Why #247? My answer to all those questions is… if you don’t know by now, you just don’t get it.

But, back to the point at hand… the new toothbrush is a sneaky feeling for a few reasons. First, unless you’re a dental hygienist, getting a new one typically isn’t a top priority. No one exactly knows when to do it (though, these guys have a good suggestion). Second, and I don’t know about you, but I never remember how great a new toothbrush feels until I’m experiencing it. For whatever reason, the feeling sort of fades until it reappears once every (insert normal time to replace a toothbrush).

One day you just notice, “Hey, these bristles are dull as a mother fucker, I think I should get a new toothbrush.” Then, three weeks later, after many trips to the supermarket where you return only to think, “Shit, I knew I forgot something”, you finally pick up a new one. There’s also those ones that have the thing where the color of the bristles might also be your giveaway… I maintain that whole bit is a scam.

There’s the fun of picking out the brush… Do you go for the plain, boring one that looks like it was the first one ever made? How about the one with six different rubber grips and those plastic bristles? Did you get a raise recently? Because if so, I have some battery powered models to show you…

But most important is the first brush with the new guy. I’ve actually (no joke) taken mine out of its packaging and started brushing on my walk back to my apartment from the supermarket. Just wanted my mouth and the new brush to get acquainted, figured toothpaste didn’t need to get involved just yet. Either way, it’s a clean unlike any you’ve felt in months. Instantly, you’re now thinking the dentist will be impressed with your level of commitment next time you go in. Naturally, this enthusiasm fades, but that doesn’t mean the feeling wasn’t great while it lasted.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling? Running out of floss when you KNOW you have something stuck in your teeth and can’t get it the hell out of there.

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