All throughout the country over the last two months or so, it’s been, in a few classy words, fucking freezing. While my apartment is no polar vortex, it is in fact a place with very little (I’d argue, absolutely no) insulation in the north eastern portion of the United States. Throw on top of that the fact that the place is wall-to-wall hardwood floor, and it all adds up to a pretty cold place from approximately very late December through February.
As I’ve detailed before, it’s not often I’m working really early in the morning. My job allows me to sleep in a little bit for about half the week (which, as a side note, I’d argue has done a fantastic job of helping me retain even a shred of what sanity I have left).
That said, it’s on the days of my morning shifts or, worse yet, when I’m substitute teaching when this feeling truly comes in to play. Let’s take the latter for this example.
I’m up anywhere between 5:30 and 6:30 in the morning and it is a tundra in my apartment. My first thought is to check the windows to see if, maybe in a dream state, I opened them completely in the middle of the night. Before I’m even out of bed, I’ve dismissed that notion and am now dreading the feeling of feet on floor. Ultimately, the meeting of flesh and wood has passed and I’m padding towards my bathroom. The soon-to-be scalding water offers an oasis those traveling in deserts could only salivate over.
It hurts at first, no question. But, it’s a good hurt. Soon the pain eases into a euphoric happiness to be fully enveloped in hot water, to have escaped the freezing depths.
That’s a great feeling.
Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: To me, showers have a very specific expiration time. For everyone it’s different, but the fact remains that there’s that strange fulcrum on which the entire shower rests. A minute too long, it becomes a chore. A minute too short and you’re unsatisfied. The polar opposite is that extra minute.
Bonus Polar Opposite: When you realize that, eventually, you’ll have to go back to the tundra. And, of course, actually doing it.
scott spinelli 
Call the landlord!