Category: congratulations?

#228 – Not Having To Do Anything For Valentine’s Day

OK, color me bitter… But I never really understood Valentine’s Day. On the one hand, I find it ridiculous that it’s some how become a second birthday for women across the country. On the other hand, it’s so silly that some (yes, I’m aware not all) women look at this as a way for her man to demonstrate his love for her.

As men, we typically are offered a raw deal. Not only do we not really get much in the way of gifts, but we are typically faced with a rock/hard place set of options. Some girls say they don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, but secretly want at least something because… come on… Dana in accounting got a fucking bouquet of roses delivered to her desk! Other girls don’t find it odd to think there should be, at the least, a parade with rose pedals, life-sized teddy bears, breakfast in bed and an expensive (hard-to-get-a-table-at) dinner* all in their name. You lose, either way.

So, here I am, with no one to disappoint (aside from my mom, who has always been my Valentine and reminds me of that every year). I will buy nothing and get nothing. That might read as sad, but I think it’s a great feeling to not have to deal with it.

Frankly, it relegates Valentine’s Day to President’s Day or Arbor Day status. And, going from where it could’ve (and has) been for me on February 14ths of the past, that’s a good feeling.

I wanted to tell a good story or two about Valentine’s Days of my past, but instead, I’ll just refer you here… A free download of Chapter 19 of congratulations? Just click here and enjoy.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: Picking the wrong option in the rock/hard place paragraph above.

*Why can’t people/couples just decide to celebrate the day, if they must, on Saturday, or Sunday or… any other day near there to avoid all that hassle?

congratulations? – Honest Review 4

The team behind congratulations? wanted to know how people were receiving the new novel. And so what better way to do that but to find out what those people are saying. What follows is honest, unadulterated truth… The fourth in a series, this honest review speaks again to the sister and brother-in-law. One of whom wasn’t even sure which book he was being interviewed about:

Novel Writing For Dummies

So, I wrote a book.

Big fucking deal, right?

It’s been four years of writing, reading, editing, complaining, failing with women, and annoying random people (cousins, friends, friends of friends, etc.).  And now, as of November 8th, congratulations? is finally ready and available for purchase.

About a week has gone by since that day and I’ve had some time to think/reflect on this whole thing. The amount of support I’ve seen thus far from friends and family has been tremendous, and for that I’m eternally grateful. It’s one thing for people to say supportive things, but to actually take the time do things (be it liking a facebook page, telling a friend, retweeting, or even buying) is a whole ‘nother deal. From the depths of whatever heart I have, thank you.

A lot of people have told me how impressive they found it that I wrote a book, stuck it through to the end, published it, etc. And I guess, in a way, it is cool. But I think, more than anything, it’s a glaring indication of not having a girlfriend and/or children to suck the energy and time out of my life.

While I’m on the topic of putting myself down… the other thing I think I need to debunk is that because this book was based off my own experiences, I didn’t have to completely fabricate an entire world to write about. You want impressive? How about Chronicles of Narnia? You ever seen a lion wear a fucking crown? Doubt it. I haven’t read those books in a while, but I’m nearly certain C.S. Lewis doesn’t have a chapter called “Fuck Valentine’s Day” in any of his books.

The truth is that the process has been the most fun part. I always heard people say that about things that took a while to accomplish and I never quite understood what it meant. Now, after having completed a goal of mine that took a while to reach, I think I have an idea. The nights writing til three or four AM, the meetings with strangers (they’re not strangers anymore, but were at the time) in New York to have it critiqued, the collaboration on cover art, the scribbling on the back of napkins when an idea struck… that’s what made it fun. That’s what makes it rewarding, no matter how well this goes (and I’m talking as far as sales and reception).

Let’s be honest: I have a little too much time on my hands. But, if that extra time has given you something you can read and enjoy, then I guess it’s worth it. Otherwise, it’s been fun.

Thanks for allowing this one post that isn’t ridiculing women or reviewing old sitcoms. Apologies for the extended period of seriousness.

Let’s get back to work.