Unless you’re like my friend Rob, most clothes don’t fit you like they do the mannequins*. The large is just a little too long in the arms or baggy in the waste while the medium looks like you’re wearing your little brother’s clothes… from the 6th grade. The XL used to be cool in high school and the small said bye-bye about 15 years back. You’re in no-man’s land.
Then, one day, you come across a store that some how has a size for you. Of course, they still go by the traditional norms of large, medium, etc… but it’s as if this store made these measurements with you in mind.
For me, that store is Express. For whatever reason, their 1X Modern Fit shirt in medium fits me like no shirt ever has. For years, I’ve been trying to find a shirt/sweater/polo that doesn’t look ridiculous on me. I’ve either had it appear as if I’ve got a tarp stuffed into the back of my khakis or as if I’m wearing a marionette’s outfit. Nothing in between.
Until now, that is.
The funniest thing about all of this, to me, is that I’m not even much of a shopper. I do it maybe twice a year with any real earnest. Both are generally in the company of my mom and one is always around my birthday (and that’s only because it’s not socially acceptable to ask for toys any longer).
But, now that I’m at least attempting to play an adult in real life, I’ve found that at times I need to look the part. Until this store goes out of business, I can.
Polar Opposite of this Feeling? Forgetting what size you are in that store, buying the wrong size and coming home to realize your tragic mistake.
*Side note about this kid: He’s in good shape and stands at least 6 feet tall, but there’s nothing Olympian about his physique. Yet, somehow, clothes fit him like he’s had everything from t-shirts to sweaters to suit jackets tailored. It’s fabulous.
scott spinelli 