#148 – Having Exact Change

loose_changeThis one has become increasingly more rare nowadays because who pays with actual currency any longer? You guys don’t have the iPhone app that keeps your bank records stored retinally, allowing you to pay for anything in the world with a simple eye scan? Well, you’re missing out.

Before I entered the Minority Report world of the future, free of this world’s simplistic, crude metallic change… I too used quarters and dimes and the like. (Sidenote: you want a real change experience? Go to London. Those sons-a-bitches are nuts with their change. Two pound coins? Fuck out of here).

The funny thing, to me, about this feeling is that it always starts the same: you never think you have exact change, though you suspect it. You always say, “Wait, let me check to see if I have it” to a cashier that has heard this refrain at least 250 times in the last hour alone. You dig around your wallet or (god forbid) your purse, exploring corners fingers haven’t been in months. At first, it appears you’re a dime or nickel short.

Then, divine intervention strikes and you’ve go it. Exactly 5 dollars and 86 cents. You can pay, and leave lighter.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: Thinking you’ve got exact change, handing it over and then being told you can’t add and it’s not right. You are a moron and you get to discover this in public.

Tim Duncan and the End of My Childhood

duncan

There’s a ridiculous amount of luck in being a sports fan. There’s bigger picture stuff, like what city you were born in, what team your dad or older brother rooted for or however else you randomly picked your favorite team as a child.

Then there’s the more specific stuff, like who your team happens to trade for or draft, when they’re bad and if it’s the right year for the right guy, if that player stays around, if that player doesn’t get hurt, if that player doesn’t get in trouble.

Nearly all of it is out of your control. You just get to root. Love the good, deal with the bad, move on with your life.

***

I was ten years old when the Spurs drafted Tim Duncan out of Wake Forest. I don’t have empirical data to back this up, but I’m about 99% certain that’s the perfect window to fall in love with your favorite players.

As adults, we all have athletes we enjoy watching perform at their sport’s highest points, but none will ever reach the level those guys from our youth did. It was more than simply scoring 20 points or smashing a game-winning homer or rushing for three touchdowns.

They were everything.

And of course, as you grow older, you realize that these guys are just that: guys. Some get hurt, some don’t reach their potential, some have impossibly high expectations and some disappoint you both on and off the court.

Of course, if you’re lucky, you avoid all of that.

I can say, as a Spurs fan my whole conscious life, I was among many that got to be that lucky fan when it came to Tim Duncan.

This isn’t a retrospective on his career or to point out this great game or that incredible stat… There’s enough out there, found easily. This is just acknowledging the luck I was fortunate to have to get to root for Tim Duncan.

He wasn’t the most athletic player, wasn’t the league’s best scorer or best rebounder or best passer. He doesn’t have the most championships or MVPs.

In all honesty, I think I’ll miss him most for what he didn’t do. He didn’t ever get in trouble off the court. He didn’t ever miss the playoffs. He didn’t ever make you feel like he wasn’t giving it his all. He didn’t ever commit a foul (I kid. But, seriously, this may be the one thing he did that consistently rubbed people the wrong way over his 19-year caree). He didn’t pound his chest or point to his ice-water-veins or scream at the top of his lungs after meaningless dunks or and-one’s.

People from the league, all day today, will tell you how he was the consummate teammate and will make arguments for his placement in the pantheon of NBA greats… But this much is certain: he was incredible to root for.

***

Today as I left my apartment, still well immersed in the Tim-Duncan-is-an-active-NBA-player universe, I tossed on this t-shirt. Well, not exactly that t-shirt. Mine is about 15 years old with a pretty sizable hole under the right armpit. But, same basic concept.

On my ride to the mall (finally able to answer yes to this question), I got two texts in quick succession. One, from the only real Spurs fan I know (also, an adult, like I am) saying “I’m hyperventilating and crying.” I had a sense for what that was about, a sense that was confirmed by the next text I received from my sister, “Just heard the news about Duncan.”

Once I had a chance to fully look at my phone and digest, I was shocked by how the news made me feel. All the videos, all the tributes and the tweets and commentary—we were all discussing him like he’d died, not just that he’d retired.

But in a way, for Spurs fans (and I suppose to some degree NBA fans at large that didn’t hate him per se, but respected from afar) it almost was like he was dying. You won’t see Duncan much, I’d imagine, because that’s simply the kind of guy he is. If there was ever a more perfect summation of a career, it’s Tim Duncan quietly announcing his retirement via the Spurs, who would hold a press conference at which he would not be present.

As a fan, you always want more. One more chance to say good-bye, to watch him lead the team or goof around with the guys. But, deep down, all Spurs fans knew this would be the way it had to go, whenever it had to go.

And that’s the sad part. Not that he’s moving on with his life or that there’s any regrets as to what the last 19 years have brought you as a fan, but that you’ll never be able to go back to that. Your childhood fandom is over, once and for all.

It lasted longer than most, that’s for sure.

And for that, all I can do is be thankful.

#127 – Getting The Right Item In Mario Kart

150px-mk64_item_boxFirst off, in doing some “research” for this one, I learned that there’s been at least 8 Mario Karts made. Probably more. Does that strike anyone else as excessive? Who honestly needed more than the one for Nintendo 64? It was clearly the best version of the game. Any of these clowns (read: young bucks) that claim the Wii version is better are fooling themselves. The whole fun of video games is so to  escape reality—not approximate it. If I wanted to drive a car, you know hold a wheel and turn it, I’d drive my real car. No, I want to hold a weird, multi-colored joystick that oddly grips perfectly to my claw.

Anyway, I digress. Whatever version you’re playing, the whole fun of the game is to get those boxes and be lucky enough not to get the bananas. Get one of those red shell trios and roll deep, shoot someone down with green shells (actually, now that I write this, being able to aim, click and shoot with a green shell is a better feeling than anything else in the game)… the list goes on.

Point is, when you’re four beers deep and that obnoxious friend of yours that’s way too good at the game (especially at this age… I mean, seriously… what does he do all day? how is he so fucking good, still?) is just ahead of you… you need the right item. Whatever your specialty, you know you’re in a great spot if you get it and screwed if not.

Good luck.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: Being the jackass that, repeatedly, can’t get your guy to run into any box, at all. Lap after lap.

#236 – Organizing Your iTunes

itunes-get-info-editFrankly, it’s the only reason I still substitute teach. It looks like I’m working behind that computer screen, but I’m not. No, I’m looking up proper album titles, getting rid of those awful tags and DJ handles from websites I downloaded the songs illegally form. I’m looking up album artwork, fixing the wording and styling.

For those curious (which I’m sure is everyone with eyes), here’s my format, for the song name at least:

Song Name (Remix) (feat Artist 1, Artist 2 and Artist 3) 

No ampersands, no periods after the feat, no ft or featuring’s. Very straight forward, very consistent.

I suppose this feeling isn’t rated higher because it’s never fully accomplished. Until you die, you’re never done. Well, that should read… until you OR your computer dies, you’re never done. But, in the brief moments where you’ve plowed through a few letters of the alphabet and it finally looks clean and organized… not bad.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: Having a life at all and never even once considering this something remotely worth your time.

#243 – Doing a Load of Laundry That Doesn’t Include Staple Clothing

clothes_basketI don’t know about you, but I really only do laundry when I run out of socks or underwear. This is both a joke but also a life goal. For real, kid.

But seriously, every so often in your life, when you’ve graduated to living in a post-quarters world where no one cares how long you leave your stuff in the machine, you get to clean actual clothes. You know, like jeans and pants and long-sleeved shirts.

However, the real treat–what this feeling is really about–is when you get to do a load of sheets or sweatshirts… gasp!… TOWELS.

Anyone who lives in an apartment building surely knows the difficulty that comes with doing a load of non-clothes. Things don’t dry as they should, you forget to take your clothes out in time so they’re either really wrinkled or really damp, you don’t have enough quarters to do another load so your living room becomes a full-scale drying rack.

It’s a nightmare.

However, on the rare days when you can do those non-clothes loads, the feeling of accomplishment is outstanding. Sure, fresh underwear is nice, but a stack of hot towels? That’s fucking luxury.

Polar Opposite of this Feeling?: Toss up on this one… either going for more quarters for that extra dryer cycle and finding out you don’t have any more… Or, bringing your clothes all the way down to your laundry room… and all the machines are taken. Your pick (Hint: you lose either way).

Episode Fifteen – Tyler Gildin, Elite Daily

scott-spinelli_imsureimoverthinkingthis (1)This week’s guest is Tyler Gildin, stand-up comedian and executive producer at Elite Daily. Here’s some of the stuff we talked about: when did he first realize he was funny? (2:10), what he was like, comedically, growing up and through school (3:05), why going to summer camp as a kid helped him get experience and comfort performing in front of people (5:10), the balancing act that is performing for friends that come to see you and improving your act (10:40), the three annoying things people say to their stand-up comedian “friends” (12:26), the calculus of constructing a joke and how so many little things can throw it on or off track (18:13), when he’s more active on the stand-up scene, his process for writing and performing new and old jokes in a set (20:38), Tyler’s strategy for dealing with the crowd or hecklers, as well as the one time a “friend” threw him off his game (23:08), is there any subject material he won’t touch and a common mistake inexperienced comedians make when it comes to being topical (29:16), what are some of the ways, unlimited as they may be, to even try to “make it” in the NY stand-up scene—and what is “making it”? (30:41), at Elite Daily, what’s the process from idea inception to consumer watching at home? (37:03), why versatility is one of the prized qualities at a place like Elite Daily (42:15) and Tyler takes his chance to ask me a question: what the hell is this book I’m taking months off to finish even about? (47:07).

Episode Fourteen – Jason Horowitz, Westwood One and SiriusXM

scott-spinelli_imsureimoverthinkingthis (1)This week’s guest is Jason Horowitz, studio host for Westwood One, talk show host with SiriusXM and play-by-play guy in a number of places. He does a lot.  Here’s some of the stuff we talked about: Jason describes the experience that was seeing “Bayside! The Musical!” (1:23), the wonder that is Kelly Kapowski, despite her father being a deadbeat (2:41), his experience auditioning for and getting on ESPN’s “Dream Job” show, basically their version of American Idol (6:05), the non-sports-related, out-of-the-box audition that got him on the show (8:10), did being on the show ever let him get ahead of himself? (10:12), how not winning the competition put his whole life on the path he’s on now (12:55), the thing he remembers most about the night he lost (14:30), how simply being on the show helped him get his next job and prepare him for his future jobs (17:02), do you need to have an intrinsic knowledge of a sport or is play-by-play just technique? (19:54), what’s the one thing that makes a great play-by-play announcer? (22:30), why he hasn’t scripted a call since college (23:26), the two things play-by-play announcers do that he can’t stand the most (24:49), what it’s like to host for Westwood One for March Madness and other major college sporting events—who writes his stuff? how does he prepare? where does he get his information from? (28:45), where does he see his career going, insofar as all the different jobs he has? (31:47), being from Michigan and living in the city, especially raising a daughter here (33:29) and Jason takes his chance to ask me two questions—one, why did I even ask him to be on? and two, how and why did I finish my book by the time I turned 25? (36:47)

Episode Thirteen – Aaron Goldfarb, Author & Writer

scott-spinelli_imsureimoverthinkingthis (1)This week’s guest is Aaron Goldfarb, author of three novels and five books in total as well as contributing writer for a number of publications including Esquire and The Daily Beast. Here’s some of the stuff we talked about: how has getting married impacted the sort of fiction he’ll write going forward (1:46), writing about things you didn’t quite experience (3:10), why he doesn’t like to let people know what he’s working on when he’s writing (7:07), why, among other reasons, he doesn’t like having a job and how that works into his writing process (7:54), why he doesn’t set day-to-day amount goals as he writes (10:11), how he writes the concept of a book, mostly doing the envisioning in his head (11:34), why he doesn’t send people his work until he’s finished (13:17), his passion for screenwriting for feature films and TV (16:22), the logically inane process that is screenplays getting optioned (17:41), how he determines whether an idea would work best as a book or movie (19:12), does Hollywood’s lack of originality piss him off, especially when he knows he’s created so much original content (22:23), why this era is the best in history to “chose yourself” when it comes to creating content (26:46), the correlation, or lack thereof, between his career as an author and as a writer (28:03), is there a tipping point where giving your stuff away for free becomes a bad thing? (31:08), would he go with self-publishing or the major houses with his next book? (31:55), the best way to get your book seen by the people who matter (34:30), how important is it to him to come up with “clever” ideas when thinking of topics for books and movies? (38:10), have his ideas ever been considered gimmicky, is that even a bad thing? and how people tend to treat authors (41:04), a brief discussion about, yes, Beanie Babies (44:50) and Aaron takes his spot to ask me a question: who is the most famous person I think I can get on the podcast? (48:47)

Episode Twelve – Zach Berman, Philadelphia Inquirer

scott-spinelli_imsureimoverthinkingthis (1)This week’s guest is Zach Berman, Eagles beat writer for the Philadelphia Inquirer. Here’s some of the stuff we talked about: is this as bad as it’s ever been for Philly sports teams? (1:29), the growth in demand for NFL content in the offseason and how fans now care as much about the business of sport as they ever have (2:58), has he lost any of his love for the NFL now that he covers it (6:22), how he lost his fanaticism when he went to college to become a journalist (10:20), is it sad that he no longer is a “fan” like he used to be? (12:06), what are the positives and negatives of Twitter as a beat writer with constant onus to provide content (15:27), the pressure to be first on breaking news and if that’s even a relevant thing any longer in the Twitter age (19:41), does he feel the need to include his personality more in his social media presence and does it bother him that this has become a trend among reporters (23:41), SnapChat as a tool for reporting? (28:36), do the gambling/fantasy football questions ever get annoying and why, sadly, he doesn’t have the ability to predict the future (30:55), why an internship after college isn’t the worst thing for a fresh-out-of-college writer (34:15), what his week look likes during the season–time spent at the Eagles’ facility, when he travels, what cities have the best press food, who pays for all this, where he sits during the game and, most importantly, what he’s looking for that you’re not during the game (39:15), why he says he’s least valuable to fans during the actual game and what he tries to provide to make up for that (48:09), why if you’re going to critique someone or something, you’d better be informed and show up the next day (49:42), what’s his goal for future work (54:14), how do you deal with grind of being a reporter and what do you do to improve as opposed to avoid simply pushing work out for another deadline (56:14), why he doesn’t see the trend of player-driven media as troubling for traditional media (59:43) and Zach takes his chance to ask me a question that’s been on his mind since I wrote my humor column in college: how do you become funny in print? (1:06:06)

Episode Eleven – John Jastremski

scott-spinelli_imsureimoverthinkingthis (1)

This week’s guest is WFAN and CBS Sports Radio talk show host John Jastremski. Here’s some of the stuff we talked about: how on Earth he maintains that upbeat attitude for his real life and radio life (1:41), the honest importance of being true to yourself on the radio (2:38), how he thinks he’d do in a different market sounding as “New York” as he does and the advice from Bob Costas that convinced him not to change his voice (3:54), what plays better and what he enjoys doing more, local or national radio? and how the two are done differently (7:28), how he handles topics that aren’t exactly his strong suit (10:01), where/how he gets his feedback of his work as a solo host of primarily overnight radio (14:04), the transition from doing only tandem radio in college to only solo radio as a professional and what he enjoys about doing it alone nowadays (17:21), John rants about the signal strength issues ESPN Radio in New York has (20:25), what specifically makes caller-driven radio his favorite style and why he hates hokey radio teases (22:27), establishing on his show that he’s the authority as a younger radio host (27:16), does his more lenient style of handling callers come from doing overnights? (29:40), how his mood determines how he handles idiotic callers (32:29), John’s pre-show prep, including his TV setup and why he doesn’t like to script anything (38:14), the experience of going through and winning the 2011 Fantasy Phenom contest to get a job at WFAN (42:15), why he didn’t introduce himself as “Fantasy Phenom winner” and how he gained respect as he began working there (49:45), a couple really good Mike Francesa stories (53:23), where he draws the line on bringing his personal life into his shows (58:06) and John takes his turn to ask me a question (1:00:00).